David (Michaelangelo style)

Oh man – what can you say about this piece of sculpture?

Okay, maybe the angle of the dangle isn’t quite right, but what specimen of manhood is this sculpture!  I’m not even going to mention on the tiny peen, but the rest of him, oh my!  As a young girl admiring art (riiight) I was particularly taken in by his strong hands:

No, really, isn’t that a good hand?  Wouldn’t you like that capable hand up and in your business?  I would.  Perv from day one, I guess.

So I go looking for bad Davids. I guess I must have missed the cuddly soft sculpture ones, or the tie-dyed ones, or the anime ones, because all I found was Fatty David:

Now that’s what I call an American!  Dude ate too many fries while he was here.  If you couldn’t see the tip before, you definitely can’t now; fella has parts he can’t see except in a mirror.  I think he ate Goliath.

This post is weak, I admit it.  The only saving grace is stripper David,

and the bevy of exquisite beauties observing his show.  What the hell is that on his head?

Oh, and I found a shoe you can buy:

if you want to.

C’mon, someone do a neon plaster David, please?  I’m running out of ideas here!


2 responses to “David (Michaelangelo style)

  1. Now that I look at him some more, I think he has been playing xbox and drinking beer.

  2. Lol @ the fat David

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