Aztec Atrocities

Some of the most detailed and gorgeous art was left to us by the Mayan/Aztec/Inca civilizations.  I don’t mean to lump the South American/Mexican civilizations like this, only it’s not my area of expertise; I do realize they are separate cultures and mean no insult.  Actually, whilst hunting around for some reproduction fails, I have to admit I had a hardish time.  There is some good stuff out there, even by amateurs!  Where were the plaster castings I dimly recall from a trip in my early tweens to Tijuana?  Wall hanging bas-reliefs, pots and sculptures sprayed in neon dayglo?  I even admit to buying one, but it was a Nefertiti bust for a buck-fifty, and I repainted it as soon as I got home.  Fuck, I was ten, people!  Still have it too – nice sculpture, bad paint job.

Anyway, I did find a couple of gems.  Let’s look at the good stuff first:

Wow.  Look at that detail, the care in the carving.  I don’t know what the kneeling dude is doing swallowing the vine (I would’ve said rope, but it has thorns) nor do I know what the standing guy is holding – a fan?  The mask, it’s brilliant.   I need to study this rich culture more, that’s for sure, but I have always been impressed with how these people had a great and sophisticated society, they had stone buildings you can’t stick a knife in the joints of the blocks, a good sense of engineering, because they built tall, astronomy, mathematics, they knew how to not only survive but thrive in thin air and crappy soil.  We can forget about the huge human sacrifices and the game played with human heads for a moment because they brought us chocolate.   Pity the Spaniards wiped them out without taking so much as any decent notes, because these guys had it down.

The motto of the day was ‘kill it if you don’t understand it’, I guess.  But get their gold first, eh?

Back to bad art.  I had to go beyond my usual Google-fu, and venture deeper, because I found a lot of good stuff, from prints to tattoos (and that deserves a blog all its own – I am sure there are many shitty tattoo blogs).  I just saw a bunch of good tattoos, that I don’t think need to be here (unless I’m bored)  I saw good car art (doesn’t count so much, as I like to focus on stuff that you can buy).  A bit of digging brought me to Etsy, and there is a sight for ripping on Etsy, so I try to avoid that, as I can relate to an artist trying to make some coin, and what is ugly to one might be beautiful to another.  Honestly, I saw some good South American stuff there too, but after a bit of digging, I saw this:

Yes, check the tag, it says Mayan preincesses.  I did not change it.  It’s a shitty painting, badly done, nightmare fodder, possible inspiration for a Lady Gaga outfit (no pants; check!) but the artiste only wants ten bucks for it.  It still doesn’t hold a candle to the Horus abomination, but it comes pretty close.  And on its heels comes the bro-cap:

Ooooohhhhh.  I can’t say anything about this cap that the original post doesn’t already say:

The ancient Aztec civilization from Central America comes alive again in this inspired hat.

Who knows what evil magics are dwelling inside this hat?

Hopefully just the curse of a hot fresh design SON!

Wow.  Just wow.  Now I am warned of an oncoming douchebag!  Aztec art is useful!  Now should I be as stupid as to enter his domicile, he might have this on the wall:

Even the seller can’t tell if it’s a Mayan figure or a spaceman, but assures us it’s vintage.  I know, I did cross-stitch and needlework in the day(there were kits).

Hang it on your wall, I dare you.


2 responses to “Aztec Atrocities

  1. Ooh, forgot to mention it is for SALE! Etsy. Buy it if you dare.

  2. etsy has some wonderful stuff

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